Ever have one of those moments when you're going about your day, doing some mindless task or even at work, when suddenly a low humming starts in your ears? You can still hear what's going on around you but suddenly you feel as though you've switched to another frequency. I get those sometimes and, now that I realize I'm not about to have a seizure, I thoroughly enjoy them. There's a feeling of peace that washes over me. Everything that's going on around me suddenly takes a back seat and I'm reminded of those carefree moments as a child, when I wasn't plagued with so many thoughts. When I didn't worry about what the mirror reflected back to me. When I grew out of pants simply because I was growing up and not out. When I didn't worry about bills or troubled relationships or how my yard is quickly growing into a jungle.
Geneen Roth sums it up quite well in Women Food And God: "Can you remember a time, perhaps when you were very young, when life as it was--just the fact that it was early morning or any old day in summer--was enough? When you were enough--not because of what you looked like or what you did, but just because everything was the way it was. Nothing was wrong. When you were sad, you cried and then it was over. You were back to a fundamental feeling of positivity, of goodness just because you were alive. What if you could live that way now?"
What if? I find myself craving that simplicity often.
I begin this blog as I start my journey to find that centered peacefulness that comes with the humming. I'm at the start of a new health regimen and just ended an unhealthy relationship. Writing my thoughts out has always been therapeutic for me so even if no one reads this blog, it will serve its purpose. Readers would be nice though. I could use some support at the moment.
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