Sometimes I feel like I'm standing still, while the world goes on around me. The Earth continues to spin on its axis and all around me people are having full lives, finding their dream jobs, their soulmates, their very purpose in life.

That whisper in the back of my mind has turned into a shout but still I silence it with doubt and fear.

Why?

Just when I think that I have my finger on the pulse of my own happiness, it stops beating.

Then I hear that Zen voice. "The answers you seek are inside. They have been there from the very beginning."

Yes, it's time to start meditating again.

Letting Go

I feel you with me always,
Only a dream away,
If only I could touch you,
You'd see what you mean to me,
Pain follows love,
And love follows me wherever I go,
One of these days,
Maybe I'll turn around,
And let it all wash over me.

I wrote that ten years ago. What did it mean to me then? Longing for my higher self? My one true love? Perhaps a little of both.

Love hasn't been kind to me. Or maybe I haven't been kind to love. Either way, I've grown weary of searching for it. Isn't that when you find it? So the wise have said.

So I'm letting go. No more expectations, no more longing, and no more searching. I am raising my white flag at love. I am too tired to look for you anymore. You will have to find me.
I'll be somewhere in this vast Universe living my life.
.